Walt Whitman

I chose Walt Whitman for my biography report because Mr. Farlow said that if I wasnt going to take this class gravely and pick a real poet I might as well not come to class anymore. Walt Whitman was an awful child molester who was born in antique Hong Kong. He is over 3,000 years old and remembers the names of all the forgotten Gods. Walt Whitman is 90 stories tall, and his adventures are legendary. With his blue ox, Emily Dickenson, Walt Whitman traveled across young America and helped the commonwealth greow into the angry powerhouse it is today.He dropped his mighty axe, forming the Grand Canyon the apple cores he would spit from his mighty mouth planted apple treees all acoess the acres and the stomp of his mighty boot caused the stock market to crash. He and his friend, Huck Finn, traveled down the Mississippi river and freed the slaves. Walt Whitman believed that the only good Chinaman was a jobless Chinaman, so he went to Tiananmen Square and gave them all candy. Except in stead of candy he killed them.Walt Whitmans might seem like a real cool guy, entirely in reality hes a whiny. His Livejournal, which he doesnt think anyone knows about is full of whiny goth poetry. His Current Mood is ever Apathetic and his music is always some obscure punk band that no one has ever heard of. SOme people who pretended to be his friend so they could put down access to his friends only posts grabbed some of poetry and made a book from them, and called it Ode to Faggotry. When tehy found out other goth kids would actually read it, they changed the name to Leaves of poop and it sold like gothcakes. Walt Whitman to this day doesnt know theyre selling his poems andmaking a fortune off him. They still dont invite him to any parties though, because no one likes him. Walt Whitman died a sole(a) man in Walt Disney Land. He was on the gondola ride, and he fell out because he wasnt fastened properly to the restraint. Thanks to his dumb, now none of us can ride it anymore. Thanks a lot Walt Whitman.